Book Entry 87: 1970 The Flutter of Life

           In March I was excited to find I was pregnant again.  We were going to have a baby around October 20.  I was excited to tell Larry.  We were both happy to be moving forward again with plans for a family.  Dr Bigelow assured me there was no reason to assume anything would go wrong this time.  He insisted what happened was a one in a million thing.  He instructed us to enjoy our pregnancy and look forward to a healthy baby joining our family in the fall.

          I was eager to wear a smock again.  I waited and waited for my belly to begin growing.  It seemed to take forever.  No wonder everyone said I was so big the first time.  I was nearly five months along before I could even justify a smock.

I remember lying on my back to feel the flutter of life inside me.  I remember Larry talking to my tummy and waiting patiently to feel some movement.  I could feel it but he couldn’t at first.  When he finally felt a little kick under the palm of his hand he beamed.  We were so happy.

Larry was as busy as ever.  He was farming, going to Stanislaus State College, and busy in church.  We seldom missed a Sunday.  We loved our church family.  There was no one else in our congregation who would play the organ so that duty continued to fall on me.  I actually liked playing on Sundays but I really loved to practice during the week when the church was empty.  I loved to turn up the volume and the base and play one song after another.  More than once I caught myself singing along at the top of my voice. It was difficult keeping hand and feet and words all straight but I didn’t care.  When I played on Sundays I was playing for the church members but when I practiced during the week mistakes didn’t bother me because I was playing for my own enjoyment.

When the time finally came for more than my homemade smocks Larry sent me to town to buy a maternity dress for Sundays.  I was so excited to wear it.  That dress was like an announcement to anyone who didn’t already know we were expecting a baby.  I felt motherly just putting it on.  It wasn’t too long before I had to scoot the organ bench back a few more inches so I could scoot in and out comfortably.