Book Entry 1: Aunt Kat, my mother, and me...with grandma....

Introduction

I stood at my grandmother’s bed side the day she died.  She’d had a stroke at which time she was given just a few days, maybe only ten, to live.  My mother, my aunt, and I took turns staying with her.  Grandma didn’t want to be left alone; we made sure she got her wish. 

The first three days after her heart attack grandma was alert.  We had long conversations.  She knew everyone by name.  She laughed at our jokes, she even told some jokes.  Her eyes twinkled when she made us laugh.  She occasionally would ask how many days until she could go home.

The second three days grandma was less alert.  We would remind her who we were and we would rattle off information about all the relatives.  She didn’t enter into the conversations, she just listened but she did seem to find comfort in our constant chatter and our presence.  A few times she spoke openly with her sister as if she were standing beside her.  Her sister had passed away many years before.  Grandma continued to smile on occasion and her eyes would twinkle at some of what we said.

The seventh day grandma began to sleep more and respond less to us.  We continued reading the paper to her, praying with her, and talking to her hoping she could understand.  On the eight day her hands and feet grew cold.  They would begin to turn blue and return to pink again and again as her heart began to be overworked and oxygen wasn’t getting to her extremities.  By the ninth day she no longer responded to us.  We simply sat close to her stroking her hair, whispering a prayer in to her ear occasionally, and telling her over and over how much we loved her. I watched the life leave her and in turn, her leave us.  I spent many childhood days at my grandma’s house.  She had told me some of her memories and I’d overheard her conversations with other adults all my growing up years. 

In those last few days with grandma when she could no longer speak, only follow us with her eyes and listen to our conversations, I began to wish I had written down all the stories and memories she had shared with me.  I didn’t want them written down just for me, but also for my children.  As it is, when she died, her memories died too except for just a few some of us have remembered and shared with one another.

I am determined to put to paper some of the most precious memories of my life.  Most of these memories are mine and mine alone.  Many will be shared by Larry and some by my children.  I will be including memories of my entire life.    When I’m finished I will sort it out and try to put it into some order but for now I just want to be sure to get some things down on paper for my kids and their kids to enjoy someday.  I won’t be writing everyday but as thoughts and memories come to me.  It will be interesting to see how often and how much gets written down.

Often, in the middle of the night and for different reasons, I will awaken.  Usually I can get back to sleep quickly but sometimes I lay in the quiet and think about the day that just ended or drift back to a different time or place in my life.  I lay in the dark running my memory like a movie in my head.  I’m sure when morning comes I will get up able to write the whole “memory movie” down on paper to share or to keep for myself.  Alas, when morning comes…the memory has again escaped me.   Hopefully, in the end, this book will hold many of those precious thoughts for me to read again and again.